and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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