Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize