Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize