So gin and wine won't be happening again
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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