i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
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You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
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I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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