if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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