you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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