you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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