All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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