Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize