the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
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Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
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Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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