Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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