Sry I called you an 8
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
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She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
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Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
When are your genitals available?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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