"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
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he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
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I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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