There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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