I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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