Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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