I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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