on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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