what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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