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Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
