Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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