No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
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The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
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Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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