I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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