"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize