eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize