I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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