I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize