people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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