My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize