Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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