haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize