FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
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He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
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He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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