You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize