The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
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Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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