The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
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i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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