Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize