These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
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You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
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In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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