I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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