theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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