the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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