Sponge bath it is.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize