So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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