i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
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just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
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He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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