i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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