Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
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Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
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We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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