just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize