So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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