I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Farmville is her only friend.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
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He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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