What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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