He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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